Essay: True Love or True Disappointment?

Bumble, Hinge and Tinder. — every digital native has heard of at least one of these apps. Seemingly everyone knows their names, their purpose and the function they serve in the pursuit of love. These apps provide a glimmer of hope, allowing people to participate in the love lottery. 

Dating has become a game for young people — they tap on profiles, experience the rush of a match and hold onto the possibility of finding true love without ever committing to it. However, it appears young people are not finding their true love but more so trying, and failing,  to understand what true love is. The accessibility of finding the next person rapidly given to us by these platforms has confiscated the excitement of getting to know someone. 

Young people, like generations before, are excited by love. They’re interested in finding their “knight in shining armor.” This intergenerational craving for love has set the precedent of finding a life-long partner, adding to the stress felt by our generation on dating apps — prompting them to hastily seek a partner. 

Dating app profiles, which are customized to reflect the user’s relationship status, are crafted with the intention of finding like-minded individuals. These platforms take personal information and compare who the user is, what they do and who they’re seeking to other profiles, sometimes providing a potential match. 

Despite this, these platforms have led a large crowd to dismiss the notion of online dating. Our generation is choosing to ignore the green-dot indicating a user is active and are instead automating dating. A flash round of candidates. Swipe left. Swipe right. Super-like.  

The conversation surrounding the dating game has changed. People aren’t getting married. The need to participate in the ceremony and pageantry is going away. It’s no longer about the big-white gown, the ring and the cake. It’s about the marriage certificate and your dog. Grandiose traditions have been sized-down to fit the changing narrative that’s being typed and sent everyday — relationships have become too accessible.

A user can turn down a match. If someone doesn’t match the personality indicated by their profile, the user has the option to end the conversation.With one tap, a once-potential lifelong partner is gone — in some cases blocked — never to be heard from again. This accessibility has caused a noticeable shift in the way members of our generation attract others.

The block button creates the illusion of control, but, as we know, our generation is ever-connected. We think we are able to dismiss the smallest of inconveniences however, because of other dating apps and social media, we may still see them somewhere like our Instagram suggested feed. 

The seemingly endless options dating apps provide have affected the way members of Gen Z handle the affairs of love. We have different dating standards. We have different norms. Younger people are less likely to find love face to face  and are more attracted to a screen.  Because of this we are more likely to understand someone through their online presence. 

Means of finding love have changed to fit younger generations access to technology. Instead of beginning a letter with “dearest” and ending it with “love,” we winky-face our way to the end of a conversation.  There is no denying we’re living in a more connected world. The access to the block button and the onto to the next mindset has molded Gen Z’s dating patterns to fit a standard that clearly isn’t working.  When will you begin to stop and ask yourself: ‘Is this true love or true disappointment?’