Satire: Open Your Hearts and Minds to AI

The ever-looming threat of being fired from work. Ceaselessly being fed biased or inaccurate information. An eternity of being disconnected from others. No life outside of being influenced or manipulated — or even stripped of your autonomy. 

These are all real concerns people face with the rise of artificial intelligence.

Despite the validity, we need to ignore every ringing alarm bell. AI domination is clearly the best thing that could happen to the world. 

For a start, we wouldn’t need to waste our time producing art anymore. One of AI’s many benefits is its ability to churn out art people can illegally claim as their own.

AI artists are tremendously misunderstood — it’s a shame people can’t copyright this kind of work. They were the ones who put the prompt into an AI generator, which is basically the same as painstakingly putting time and effort into handcrafted art. 

Think about how much you could achieve if you weren’t spending your life pointlessly pursuing a meaning of humanity through creative endeavors. You could focus on more respectable activities like losing brain cells on trying to come up with a little prompt for hours on end. 

AI can also help with tedious — and, of course, not at all important — schoolwork. Students can easily ask AI to answer homework questions, summarize readings or even write papers by simply typing a short prompt into ChatGPT.

Professors love grading absolute nonsense written by a machine instead of original work by one of their students. It’s worthless to bother with school when a student who cheats their way through is much smarter and more competent than one who does the work themself. 

People have no diligence anyways, so it really is better for everyone to just let AI take over. It’s so much more capable than us.

AI has the ability to aid corporations and workers with various tasks, enhancing employee productivity by stripping all tasks from the workers themselves. 

It’s learning how to drive cars, meaning people no longer need to bother with pesky transportation services. Instead, they can put all their trust into a computer. Hopefully, one day, there won’t even be a need for pilots. Your next vacation could be as safe as riding your bike while blindfolded.

Additionally, AI has helped healthcare workers by reducing the time it takes to get information about symptoms and diagnoses back. Everyone has always said faster results are better than accurate ones, particularly when it comes to health. 

Personally, I can’t wait until ChatGPT diagnoses me with rabies when I go in for my yearly checkup.

These benefits are just a few out of the million demonstrating why AI should take over. It’s clear how much it would improve the world — while also destroying the environment with its atrocious carbon footprint. The best way to empower humanity is by taking humans out of the equation. 

People need to stop ruminating on AI’s inadequacies and ethical concerns. I mean, we can definitely trust the people who use it to not manipulate it for nefarious purposes — like creating deep fakes to keep people from voting, launching cyber-attacks or exploiting it for terrorist violence.

Anyway, people need to start welcoming AI into their hearts and minds. Imagine all the good AI could bring by replacing everything. 

People will never have to do another cumbersome homework assignment, sit through another excruciatingly dull lecture, deal with another infuriating co-worker, listen to another melodramatic rant from a friend or put up with inadequate boyfriends. Eventually, we’ll even be free from smothering parents and our own overbearing minds. 

Haven’t we all dreamt of our lives being taken over by robots? Isn’t that why there’s all those really lovely and serene movies made about this very scenario? 

It’s time to stop denying and delaying the inevitable. AI is our future. Resistance is futile.