The Phoenix’s Guide to Super Bowl Cooking

Guacamole

Don’t waste money on store-bought guac. It’s one of the simplest things an amateur cook can make. To dress it up, chop and char some cebollitas — stores might label them Mexican onions — and add the reddest tomatoes available to match the Chiefs’ uniforms.

4 large avocados

2 limes

½ cup chopped cilantro

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon black pepper

1. Scoop out the avocados and mash them with a fork until somewhat smooth — it’s better if it’s still chunky.
2. Add the lime juice, cilantro, salt and black pepper.

Serve immediately with a big bowl of restaurant-style tortilla chips.
If you can’t make it immediately before serving, add more lime juice and cover with plastic wrap. Don’t believe people who say leaving the avocado pit will prevent browning — that actually results in browner guacamole, according to Epicurious.

Cheese Dip

The sauteed greens — which match the Eagles’ color scheme — add a smokiness that pairs well with the Chiefs’ guacamole. This recipe requires an oven.

10 ounces fresh spinach, kale or collard greens

10 ounces (around 2 single-serve cups) plain nonfat Greek yogurt

8 ounces softened cream cheese or neufchatel

½ cup shredded mozzarella

1 teaspoon each of dried parsley, oregano, onion powder, garlic powder, salt and black pepper

1. Preheat the oven to 350° F. While it’s preheating, saute the greens until they shrink to about half their original size, around five to six minutes. Drain them in a colander above the sink and wring out as much excess water as possible.
2. Add the greens to a large oven-safe bowl along with the Greek yogurt and softened cream cheese. Stir and mix in the seasonings.
3. Sprinkle the shredded mozzarella on top and bake for 30 minutes until the top is golden brown and bubbling.

Serve with chip scoops or fondue dippers, preferably pretzel bites, given Philadelphia’s penchant for soft pretzels. Pretzel sticks or chips would also work.

Kansas City Ice Water

The Kansas City Ice Water is a cocktail made with gin, vodka and lime juice. The Phoenix knows its underage readers wouldn’t break the law, so for them, replace the liquor with 1 cup tonic water and ½ apple cider vinegar. Mix with a two-liter bottle of lemon lime soda, sliced limes and plenty of ice for a refreshing mocktail.

Root Beer Float

Root beer owes its beginnings to Philadelphia physician Charles Elmer Hires, who began selling his mixture of sassafras, sarsaparilla, wild cherry, wintergreen and ginger in 1875, according to WHYY. Modern root beer is simpler — but still delicious — and pairs well with ice cream. Add a scoop of vanilla or salted caramel soft serve to a cool cup of root beer for a creamy glass of goodness.

Cinnamon Roll Cookie Dough

Cookie dough is often unsafe to eat because of two raw ingredients — eggs and flour. College is already stressful enough without having to worry about salmonella and E. coli, so stick with heat-treated flour or alternative options like almond flour. This recipe alludes to Kansas City’s love for cinnamon rolls, which locals occasionally have with fried chicken or chili.

2 cups almond flour

½ cup room-temperature butter

1 cup brown sugar

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

a pinch or two of salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ cup butterscotch chips (optional)

1. Whisk the room-temperature butter and brown sugar about five minutes, until light and fluffy.
2. Add the cinnamon, salt and vanilla extract. Continue mixing for another five minutes.
3. Fold in the almond flour and mix until evenly combined. To up the sweetness, add the butterscotch chips.
4. Roll into bite-size balls and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Football Cupcakes

To avoid skyrocketing egg prices, use either a ½ cup applesauce, ½ cup yogurt or ½ cup mashed banana — though bananas will almost certainly dominate the flavor. This recipe requires an oven.

1 cup flour

¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 ½ cup sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

¼ teaspoon baking soda

¾ cup milk

2 eggs

3 tablespoons room-temperature butter or vegetable oil

a pinch salt

1 tin of vanilla frosting

1 plastic bag

1 pair of scissors

1. Preheat the oven to 350° F. Grease a muffin tin with butter, oil or oil spray.
2. Mix the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cocoa powder and salt.
3. In another bowl, whisk the butter or vegetable oil and sugar until consistent, then fold in the eggs or egg substitutes.
4. Fold in the dry ingredients along with the milk.
5. Add the batter to the muffin tin.
6. Bake for 15 minutes, or until a fork poked into a muffin comes out clean. Let cool for at least 10 minutes.
7. Cut a hole into the plastic bag and add the frosting. Pipe lines of frosting onto the cupcakes to resemble little footballs.