A Rose is a Rose is a… Lame Gift

It’s time to reject the rose’s monopoly on romantic floral symbolism.

Roses are synonymous with love. They’re lauded by poets, from Shakespeare to Shelley, from Wilde to Wordsworth. They’re also the most common flowers bought for Valentine’s Day, according to the Society of American Florists.

But this very popularity is exactly what makes roses an insufficient Valentine’s Day gift. 

There are more than 100 species of roses found across Asia, Europe, Africa and North America, according to Britannica. The most common of these — seen in classic bouquets — are long-stemmed hybrid tea roses, especially a ruby-red American variety called “Freedom,” according to ABC News. 

Modern Western conceptions of floral symbolism originate from 19th-century Victorian floriography — the language of flowers — which in turn originated from the Ottoman Empire in the 18th century, according to Time.

But the Ottoman language of flowers wasn’t based on the flowers themselves. Rather, their names and shapes were analogies used to pass along secret messages among harems, according to Atlas Obscura.

Today, roses feel overused, overloaded with associations — sometimes contradictory. They’re the flower of socialism and anarchy, the War of the Roses, the White House Rose Garden, Aphrodite, the Virgin Mary, Guns ‘n’ Roses and the Stone Roses.

“The rose is a symbolic figure so rich in meanings that by now it hardly has any meaning left,” Italian novelist Umberto Eco wrote in the postscript of his 1980 book “The Name of the Rose.”

Something so generic, so one-size-fits-all, can’t capture the depth of love. Every person — and relationship — is different. The most heartfelt, memorable gifts should reflect that.

Instead of roses, think about the object of your affections — in which month were they born? Certain flowers are also associated with months, a tradition possibly dating back to ancient Rome, according to Britannica. For example, chrysanthemums are the flower of November, which I’m totally not mentioning just because that’s my birth month.

The chrysanthemum was also pronounced the official flower of Chicago in 1966, making it particularly appropriate for couples in the Windy City. It and other flowers, like lilies and carnations, are relatively cheaper options that still convey care.

Or, to go another route, think more critically about what the recipient of your flowers might actually want. Do they have a green thumb, or do they accidentally kill every plant in a five-mile radius? Would they genuinely appreciate roses, or would they prefer something else, something unique?

Gifting a packet of seeds shows you’re thinking long-term, hoping to grow with your partner. Brushing up your arts-and-crafts skills by making paper flowers — perhaps out of old copies of The Phoenix — shows you’re willing to spend time on your relationship.

Rejecting the rose also means rejecting consumerism. Last year, Americans spent $25.8 billion on Valentine’s Day, with at least 18% of that total spent in florists, according to the National Retail Federation. Florists mark up roses to meet high demand and still make a profit, with some bouquets costing hundreds of dollars.

Maybe don’t outright tell your partner you’re a cheapskate, but I can’t blame you for wanting to save that money for student loans.