The Understatement of Women’s Pain

If I were to describe how it feels to experience a period, it’s like each month I die a slow death. It gradually creeps up on me. I lose my motivation, and self-deprecation takes over. I question every move, and it goes on until I can’t recognize myself in the mirror.

Then the physical symptoms start — the cramps, hot flashes, headaches, bleeding and squirming around, unable to sit still because of the pain.

But it’s “just my period,” everyone with a uterus goes through the same thing. Complaining feels shameful since it’s a biological occurrence. 

Yet women experience more pain during menstruation than they have to.

So many of us are taught to believe the pain is normal, showing just how reluctant society is to take women’s pain seriously. 

From the time we’re teenagers or even younger, people who menstruate are told cramps, fatigue and mood swings are simply the price of having a uterus — that severe pain is “normal,” or that we’re “just being dramatic.” We pop Advil, grab a heating pad and keep moving through classes, work, practices or nights out. Through it all, we silently endure.

But why is this pain normalized? Those with uteri know menstruation comes with discomfort. The body is purging out the old biological material in exchange for the new. But for some, this isn’t just uncomfortable — it’s excruciatingly painful.

The average person who menstruates has their cycle from the ages of 12 to 51. If they were to experience the typical 28 days cycle they would have, give or take, 13 periods a year. Assume they weren’t to get pregnant throughout those 39 years and had all 13 periods every year.

They would experience 507 periods in their lifetime.

The average length of a period is 5 days. If someone typically experiences intensely painful periods, they then spend 2,535 days or nearly 7 years living in consistent intense pain.

Nearly seven years of life spent in pain, and most of us are told “thats just how it is.” If any other condition caused that much suffering, we’d call it a serious health issue, not something to “push through.” 

This isn’t just about periods — it’s part of a much bigger problem. Across the board, women’s pain is routinely underestimated in the medical world.

Women are more likely to have their pain dismissed or misdiagnosed compared to men. Add menstruation to the mix, and it’s no wonder conditions like endometriosis or polycystic ovarian syndrome often take years to diagnose.

Living in constant pain isn’t just distressing, it’s isolating. Women’s lives are put on pause for days at a time because they’re unable to function due to the terrible pain.

Coming from someone with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), the pain isn’t always solely physical. 

I feel a heavy, draining weight days and sometimes weeks before. With PMDD, it feels like someone has dimmed the light inside me. I move through days in slow motion, exhausted by everything and detached from the things which usually make me feel alive. 

It’s not sadness so much as emptiness — a quiet erasure of joy which no amount of rest can fix. Then, just as suddenly, it lifts, leaving me wondering how something so cyclical, so predictable, can still undo me every time.

Painful menstruation is rarely seen as a valid reason to rest. Instead, it’s treated as an inconvenience to be managed quietly. In workplaces and classrooms, productivity is valued over well-being, forcing people to push through pain which would never be dismissed if it belonged to another kind of illness. 

When women or people with uteri seek permanent birth control, their autonomy is often questioned. Requests for tubal ligations or hysterectomies are met with doubt, condescension or outright refusal. They are told they might “change their mind” or need a partner’s approval. 

It’s a quiet but powerful reminder American society still treats reproductive capacity as public property, not personal choice.

Even in the language surrounding menstruation, women are undermined. Patronizing comments like “Are you on your period?” or “She’s PMSing” are used to dismiss emotion and invalidate experiences, as if feeling deeply were a flaw. Strength shouldn’t be measured by how much pain someone can tolerate.

These phrases don’t just police behavior, they reinforce the idea women’s bodies and their emotions are unreliable.

The dismissal of women’s pain reinforces a system where suffering is expected. It’s not just unfair, it’s dangerous.

This phenomenon is a reflection of a healthcare system built on outdated assumptions. Women’s health has been under-researched and underfunded for decades. For many of us, the lack of answers or empathy from medical professionals is frustrating and exhausting.

For example, there’s more research on male balding than on endometriosis. One of those conditions is incurable and life-threatening. Hint: it’s not the one which has plenty of research on it.

Nearly all foundational American societal systems were shaped around white cis men’s bodies and experiences. Women’s bodies are thus treated as secondary or mysterious, rather than central to medical understanding.

This lack of information is a reflection of the patriarchal values which have long treated all women’s bodies as lesser, irrational or too complicated to study. 

When American societal structures society normalizes women’s pain, it’s not just neglect — its structural misogyny. We’ve been conditioned to view women’s suffering as normal, expected or less serious. This misogyny has taught generations of women to doubt their own bodies. 

That doubt costs us our health, our comfort and far too often, our peace of mind. And it makes you wonder how many lives have been shaped by a doubt that was never really yours.