Satire: The library has no path to profitability

In an asinine attempt at wasting taxpayer funds, local governments around the United States have purchased millions of books, constructed buildings to store them and allowed practically anyone to take those books home for free.

The scheme gets worse. 

These government-run book distributors charge no membership fee, compete directly with bookstores and even provide computers, internet access and other resources without requiring customers to purchase anything. 

There doesn’t seem to be any revenue model. 

Unfortunately, the masterminds behind the public library apparently forgot to consider whether it would be profitable. This blatant disregard of the free market isn’t just isolated to books.

Across the country, local governments purchase valuable real estate and deliberately prevent developers from doing anything productive with it, like building data centers. Instead, they fill the land with trees, grass, benches and playgrounds before allowing residents to occupy it for free.

There’s no admission fee nor subscription associated with using so-called public lands. Therefore, someone who visits a park every morning can extract hundreds of hours of value from the property while contributing just as much as someone who never uses it.

Some cities have even decided to build sidewalks under the same model. Avid walkers aren’t charged by the mile, and there aren’t even tolls.

Additionally, suppose a neighbor negligently leaves the stove on, the kitchen catches fire and it requires several highly-trained professionals, a million-dollar truck and thousands of gallons of water to save the house. Not once does the fire department stop to ask whether the neighbor pays enough in taxes to justify this expense. 

Why should a responsible homeowner whose house isn’t currently on fire be forced to subsidize people whose houses are? At minimum, emergency services should consider adding a deductible. 

Perhaps municipalities could offer a plan covering one kitchen fire annually, with electrical and multi-story fires being available to premium subscribers. During heat waves and wildfire seasons, surge pricing could ensure fire engines are allocated by willingness to pay. 

The same market discipline could finally fix 911. Before dispatching an ambulance, police officer or fire engine, operators would at least verify the caller’s coverage and determine which emergency responder is in-network. 

Then there are public schools. 

For 13 years, taxpayers fund buildings, teachers, buses, counselors, libraries, athletics and countless other services for a customer base composed almost entirely of people with no income. The government doesn’t even charge tuition. No serious investor would dare to touch this business model. 

The National Weather Service collects forecasts, warnings and other valuable weather information and then makes much of that data publicly available without charging for it. Its own API documentation admits all of the information presented is intended to be open and free to use.

Apparently nobody in Washington has considered the monetary value they could extract from advanced tornado warning systems. 

Perhaps the most egregious offender is the U.S. Postal Service (USPS). 

The federal government maintains a network capable of reaching more than 170 million addresses that is mandated to serve every American community, including places which are rural, remote and far from being economical. 

Surely this government-backed delivery network must be crushing the private sector. 

However, Amazon and USPS reached an agreement this year preserving roughly 80% of the package volume Amazon had already been sending through the Postal Service. Amazon accounts for around $6 billion in annual USPS revenue, despite operating one of the largest private delivery networks in the country. 

DHL went even further, signing a multi-year agreement worth more than $10 billion for USPS to perform last-mile deliveries. 

The supposedly market-disrupting public service is infrastructure the market itself finds useful. Even more inconveniently, USPS generally receives no tax dollars for its operating expenses, instead relying on postage, products and services for revenue. For a government service, it seems disturbingly good at behaving like a business.

Clearly, this problem extends beyond the public library. Americans are surrounded by parks refusing to charge admission, fire departments failing to monetize emergencies and schools educating customers with no income. Even the Postal Service, which has somehow stumbled into a functional revenue model, insists on delivering to places private companies might otherwise avoid. 

If these institutions ever hope to be taken seriously, they need to start acting like businesses. Until then, taxpayers will have to endure the horrifying prospect of receiving something valuable without anyone profiting from it.