Writer Aaliyah Solano defends her unusual fear for the King of Pop.
Writer Aaliyah Solano defends her unusual fear for the King of Pop.
With Halloween tomorrow, it’s easy to recall universal and common phobias from childhood. While many have a fear of spiders, death or ghosts, this time of year forces me to confront something more unorthodox — I have a crippling fear of 80’s pop-king Michael Jackson.
I can pinpoint the exact moment this fear took over my life.
It was a typical Sunday in 2009. I was in the living room surrounded by my siblings and cousins, dressed to the nines in Disney character-filled pajamas. We all huddled up to the TV and watched various music videos on Music Choice — everything from Justin Bieber’s “Baby” to Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed.” My mother came up with the bright idea of turning on Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” music video.
I don’t think she understood what showing this video would do to four-year-old me. I sat in horror as Michael Jackson transformed into some sort of zombie and disjointedly paraded around in the street.
Tears were flowing from all of the children’s faces while all the adults laughed, like it was fun to watch us cry. Granted, most of the kids got over it minutes after the video finished — but the image of Jackson disguised in zombie makeup has stayed engrained in my mind for 15 years.
At first, he didn’t haunt me since he was still alive and roaming the streets. It wasn’t until his death just a few months later that I became his prey.
Once the sun goes down, he comes out ready to torment my mind and sanity.
When driving alone at night, I picture him ready to attack me in the back of my car. Typically, during the night I wake up around 2:00 a.m. for a quick bathroom break, and like clockwork, my first thought every time I open my eyes is him. Sometimes, I can’t even stomach walking to the bathroom out of fear he’s under my bed, ready to grab me.
For the record, I’ve never met or come into contact with Michael Jackson, any of his children or his siblings in my life, yet I always feel his presence.
I’ve always shied away from telling people about my fear because they laugh or call me crazy. How could I genuinely be scared of Michael Jackson? I’ve asked myself this question many times. Of all the things to be afraid of, I’m terrified of one of the most successful musicians of all time.
Truthfully, my childhood friends were right for calling me crazy since I was the only person in our town’s vicinity who had this fear. They would ask me all the time, ‘Why would he haunt you of all people?’ A valid question I don’t even know the answer to, however, what I do know is he’s been tormenting me purposely for nearly two decades.
It wasn’t until I was scrolling on TikTok earlier this year and saw #Michaelphobia that I realized I wasn’t the only one plagued with terrifying thoughts of the singer. Usually, I steer clear of any videos associated with him — especially at night — but I was compelled to see what people were saying.
Upon clicking, I found countless videos of others detailing nightmares and horrific thoughts they’ve had about the artist. For once, I didn’t feel like a madwoman who needed to be put in a psychiatric hospital. I wasn’t alone — and these videos showed me my fear was justifiable.
Just because one fear may not be widely discussed doesn’t make it laughable — it doesn’t make the person with the phobia crazy. It’s insensitive to laugh at someone’s distress. Instead, scared individuals should be validated and made to feel safe in their surroundings.
Fears can take many shapes and sizes. There shouldn’t be any rules or regulations regarding what’s deemed as scary or not. Shouldn’t we be promoting inclusivity? Everyone should be able to talk about their phobias without feeling ashamed or being laughed at, no matter how ridiculous they may seem.